Baltimore Mayor Resolves Plastic Bag Dispute

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

image for Baltimore Mayor Resolves Plastic Bag Dispute
"Please, no plastic bags."

Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council has tried on several occasions to either completely ban the use of plastic supermarket bags or to charge a user fee of 25 cents per bag.

There have been complaints about bags floating in the Inner Harbor (a Baltimore tourist attraction), caught in trees and soaring in the air. Various Baltimore "bag ladies" and other environmental groups, who think this is the biggest "crime" in the city, are for the bans. Their solution is certainly easier then stopping the slobs who don't properly dispose of their used bags.

The Mayor of Baltimore has come up with a unique solution to this problem, which was proposed to the Baltimore City Council. The city will pay anyone who brings in a discarded plastic bag 25 cents, especially ones floating in the Inner Harbor. The city budget will not be affected, as the money will be deducted from the mayor's salary. The bag collection point will be the mayor's newly redecorated office located in the Baltimore City Hall. The mayor will also be responsible for transporting the bags to the city dump for recycling, via city provided vehicles.

The Baltimore City Council approved the mayor's proposal by a vote of 13-0. The council is expected to shortly tackle the "fowl" issue of whether more than three chickens can be kept in the mayor's office.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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