Susan Boyle, Adam Lambert, & Gilles Marini To Record "The Runnerup Song"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 5 June 2009

image for Susan Boyle, Adam Lambert, & Gilles Marini To Record "The Runnerup Song"
A pair of sneakers that once belonged to Mickey Rourke but that now belong to Simon Cowell.

BEVERLY HILLS, California - Simon Cowell, owner of 19th Hole Productions has said that he will be producing a single which will be recorded by the runners up of "Britain's Got Talent," "American Idol," and "Dancing With The Stars."

Cowell said he first got the idea for a runner up song by Susan Boyle, Adam Lambert, and Gilles Marini while watching reruns of "Monty Python's Flying Circus."

He said that he has spoken with famed British lyricist Bernie Taupin about writing a song especially fitted to the three 'runners up.'

Taupin, who wrote the lyrics to over 2,000 songs for Elton John said that he was thrilled to be asked to write a runner up song. He revealed that things that he will be incorporating into the song involve bushy eyebrows, black fingernail polish, and a French accent.

He added that he is very disappointed that he has not heard from Sir Elton in over two months. Taupin remarked to a reporter for The London Morning Mincer Review that he figures that Mr. John is just way too busy in his 'Sir Elton' role to call up his old friend and the third best lyricist in England (behind Lennon and McCartney).

Taupin said that Elton John still owes his some royalites from his 1971 song "Tiny Dancer." (EDITOR'S NOTE: According to The Order of British Song Royalties, Sir Elton John does in fact still owe Mr. Taupin 10,000 pounds [$16,120.42 U.S.] in royalty fees for writing "Tiny Dancer.")

Cowell recently remarked to Anderson Cooper that it is still in the early planning stages but he is considering pitching a reality show to the Fox Network centered around the 'runner up trio' which would be called, "The Runner Up Trio of Malibu Beach."

The reality show would revolve around Boyle, Lambert, and Marini who have all moved into a $2.7 million Malibu Beach house, La Casa Mickey, now owned by Simon Cowell, and which once belonged to Mickey Rourke, and before that to Mickey Mantle, and before that to Mickey Rooney, and before that to Mickey Mouse.

Meanwhile in other news. Songboard Magazine is reporting that the new song by Miley Cyrus has reached #1 on The Country Teeny-Bopper Charts.

The song written by Miley Cyrus and Ryan Seacrest is entitled, "Don't Look Now But I Think That Your Train Of Thought Has Just Jumped The Track."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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