Lady Gaga Comes In 4th On "Dancing With The Stars"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

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Lady Gaga shown backstage at Dancing With The Stars (photo courtesy of Eva Longoria-Parker).

HOLLYWOOD - Glam rocker Lady Gaga performed two numbers on the "Dancing With The Stars" finale show and she did such a fantastic job of dancing while performing her two songs that the judges decided to award her fourth place.

Shawn Johnson, the 17-year-old gold medal-winning gymnast, who was crowned the "Dancing With The stars" champion said that Lady Gaga was totally awesome for sure.

The second place finisher French actor Gilles Marini said that Lady Gaga was like a delicious croissant simmering in a bowl of crepe Suzette hors d'oeuvres smothered in creme brulee.

Third place winner, Melissa Rycroft, of The Bachelor fame, merely said "Waaaaaa! Darnit, I lose again. Gosh I'm starting to feel like Susan Lucci at the soap opera awards."

Lady Gaga, the 23-year-old singer from Yonkers, New York brought the house down with her Las Vegasesque performances of "Just Dance" and "La Macarena Part II, Unplugged and Remixed."

Her stage show consisted of a 17-piece band, 5 backup singers, 10 dancers, a juggler, a sword swallowing Hooter's Girl, a nude midget unicyclist, 6 hamsters, and three full grown elephants.

Lady Gaga whose real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Jolie Germanotta was dressed in a Los Angeles Lakers uniform with matching bra and no panties.

Lady Ga, as she is called for short, wore jewelry from the Joan Rivers collection, a watch from the Bernie Madoff collection, a toe ring from the Michelle Obama collection, and a tongue stud from the Condoleezza Rice collection.

Co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris both agreed that Lady Gaga has ten times more energy than Amy Winehouse, Courtney Love, and Joaquin Phoenix put together.

Steve-O of Jackass fame went up to Lady Gaga and playfully stuck his tongue in her navel, he was immediately tackled by two of Lady Gaga's bodyguards and body slammed three times.

Doctor's at The Fernando Valenzuela Hospital in East Los Angeles say that Steve-O is resting comfortably and that he is lucky that all he has are three broken ribs, a bruised clavicle, a scraped uvula, a dislocated ear lobe, a missing toenail, and an inverted nipple.

Lady Gaga told a reporter for The Left Coast Chronicle Press that she will be suing Steve-O for flagrante delicto assault and battery, unlawful ex post facto assembly, undue ad hoc loitering, and habeas salavating.

In a related story. Nine time world champion cowboy and Dancing With The Stars contestant Ty Murray told Barbara Walters that he and his wife Jewel plan on changing the name of their Texas Ranch to El Rancho Paso Doble Cha Cha Cha Mambo Tango Samba Salsa Salma Hayek.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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