Lil' Kim's Bionic Booty Booted Off "Dancing With The Stars"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 7 May 2009

image for Lil' Kim's Bionic Booty Booted Off "Dancing With The Stars"
Mr. Moo Moo, the bull that Ty Murray rode to win the 1974 Bullriding Toddler Championship at the age of four.

HOLLYWOOD - Lil' Kim apparently had a lil'ler amount of viewer votes than the bullridin', two-steppin,' shucks ma'am'in' cowpoke Ty Murray.

The 33-year-old hip-hoppin', rip-rappin' rapstress Kim was sent home on the latest edition of "Dancing With The Stars."

When host Tom Bergeron announced that it was Lil' Kim and not Ty Murray who was going home, co-host Samantha Harris almost choked on her 100-mph tongue.

Even Ty had a look of "What the hell?" on his cowboyin' face. His dance partner Chelsie Hightower reportedly whispered "Oops."

Ty's wife, singer-songwriter Jewel, 34, was the only one in the audience who believed that Ty had any chance whatsoever. Mrs. Murray kept yelling, yippy ki yay, yippy ki yay all you Ty doubtin' mofo's.

Many critics, viewers, judges, fellow contestants, and co-hosts had written Ty off. Judge Len Goodman, 97, had already told him that he was certain that he would be hitting the trail.

Italian judge Bruno Tonioli had remarked that it was time for the cowboy to put on his sombrero and two step off in to the sunset.

And female judge Carrie Ann Inaba, who knows nothing about the Old West or even the New West commented, "It's time that Ty Murray picks up his lasso, his leather chaps, and mounts his mustang and goes back to Texas and punches some boy cattles (sic) and girl bulls (sic)."

When Ty was asked by host Tom Bergeron how he felt, he replied that he kinda felt like the winner of a Mexican bullfight.

When asked to explain he said, "Well lets just say that I won the bullfight, but I'm kinda covered in bullsh*t from head to toe."

Jewel hugged her nine-time World Champion Rodeo Cowboy and said, "Hey cowboy, how about you sweepin' me off my feet and buyin' me a Lone Star Beer."

"Why shucks Ma'am, I reckon I'll sure do it."

And with that "The King of The Cowboys" and his good-lookin' little ol' cowgirl rode off into the sunset knowing that Cowboy Ty will be back in the saddle dancing his chaps off next week.

In a related story. Judge Len Goodman who's 97, remarked that he really hated to see Lil' Kim go because she has a great sense of humor, she's a great dancer, and she has the best-looking bionic booty that he has ever seen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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