Melissa Rivers: The Tantrum The Celebrity Apprentice Cameras Didn't See

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 2 May 2009

image for Melissa Rivers: The Tantrum The Celebrity Apprentice Cameras Didn't See
Ex-Playmate Brande Roderick (photo courtesy of Joan Rivers).

LAS VEGAS - Melissa Rivers, still steaming and fuming from being fired by Donald Trump told a reporter for The Las Vegas Light Beacon about some of the behind the scenes action that the Celebrity Apprentice cameras did not get.

The "CA" castoff told her manager that she wanted to give a reporter her side of the story so that she can get over the anger, hatred, animosity, and resentment that she feels towards her ex-fellow teammates Annie "Bow-Wow" Duke and Brande "Silicone Twins" Roderick.

Viewers of "CA" saw Donald Trump fire Melissa and then watched as she went out into the hall and threw the mother of all public indignation fits.

Melissa's outburst of anger made Christian Bale's tirade seem tame in comparison. Melissa picked up a ficus tree, pot and all and threw it out the 37th story window.

She then got into the elevator and launched into a hostile diatribe towards the elevator operator. "Can't you make this friggin' elevator go any faster?" Rivers yelled in her Brooklynesque accent.

When the elevator doors opened a sweet little nun said hello to Melissa and Melissa instantly told her to get lost sister.

And just as Melissa turned the corner she saw Annie and Brande duck into a women's restroom. Melissa quickly followed them in and she locked the door behind her.

Instantly she called her mother and told her to meet her right away.

Annie told Melissa that she was sorry that she had gotten fired. Melissa grabbed her by the throat and told her that she was nothing but a lying witch who only knew how to do two things, play poker and get poked.

Annie managed to break loose and she ran and locked herself in one of the bathroom stalls. Then "Mad" Melissa turned her wretched wrath towards Brande.

"And you, you big tall silicone filled slut, you never liked me. You stabbed me in the back and in the front and now you are going to get an earful you damn Barbie Doll wannabe."

Just then Melissa's mom, Joan called her on the cell phone and told her to unlock the bathroom door.

As soon as she did Joan kicked the door open and she took a flying leap and landed on Brande knocking her to the ground.

Joan then picked her up and body slammed her on the hard floor. Brande started crying and saying that Joan had broken one of her nails.

Joan yelled out that before she was through with her she would look like Amy Winehouse on a very bad day.

Brande screamed for Joan to leave her alone and Joan told Melissa to hold Brande down while she tried to remove both of her ovaries.

Just then hotel security arrived and they were able to rescue both Annie and Brande before they got too badly roughed up.

In other news. The word is that Donald Trump is so upset with Melissa Rivers that he is talking to a New York state senator about the possibilty of having Melissa banned from the state for life.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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