Gestapo 'amnesty' dismays campaigners

Written by matwil

Friday, 17 April 2009

image for Gestapo 'amnesty' dismays campaigners
A slightly brown victim of Gestapo torture

Human and civil rights groups in Germany are dismayed that Gestapo agents will not face prosecution over interrogation techniques in the Himmler era.

Such techniques included electric shock torture, sleep deprivation, regular beatings, near-drowning, and being stretched out on a rack while being bitten by rats, and the groups said that the decision was a failure to uphold the law of the land. Others defended the techniques, saying that they boosted German sadistic urges towards basically harmless people.

The former head of the Gestapo, Michael Heydrichen, said that if the Reichstag banned the techniques it would 'undermine our evil, fascist inadequacies, and stop the world thinking that Germans are a bunch of cowards that can't win wars, and pick on people across the world without any proof they are even dangerous to themselves, let alone to Germany. The day foreign agencies are dumb enough to share information with the Gestapo is the day Germans are smart enough to go and die in Iraq and Vietnam.'

The new liberal Merkel administration, run by the Neuhippocratzis And Zpinelesse Infantz Partei, the NAZIs, had been elected on some basic reforming ideas, such as liberty for all, an end to colonial wars, and an end to concentration camps, but not on an end to hypocrisy.

And so the colonial wars continue, a handful of the rich still run the country, and all Gestapo torturers in Guantanamo camps will not only not be treated as sick and evil torturers, they will also still get paid by the German government.

And Mrs Merkel gave one of her now characteristic catchphrase soundbites for cretins, to sum up the situation: 'Ein Reich, Ein Joke, Ein Liar.' Georg V. Busch was quietly laughing in his dumhaus in Crawvaria.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more