Written by Leonardo Picasso

Wednesday, 8 April 2009


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Penis Oil Saves Car Industry
Secrets of White Gold Unlocked

Friction has been reduced between those that taketh and those that giveth in the car industry and government by the recent re-discovery of an endless supply of energy. Within inches of your laptop is an endless supply of energy that might one day fuel your car or heat your house.

Scientists at the University of Texas have re-discovered a hundred year old secret kept from public knowledge by The Vatican. In the twenties when the need for gas was increasing the Vatican's then burgeoning research arm deciphered old coptic scriptures describing the wondrous properties of penis oil.

It seems it was first discovered by the temple priest of Athos where vestal virgins worked collecting the rare and precious penis oils was used as a lubricant to build the pyramids.

The actual amounts of this precious oil needed to fuel a car would until recently prove to be unprofitable, however as a response to global warming the information was released to key universities to research if could be synthesized. Scientist close to finding the molecules that give this oil it's unique properties. In a new directive from the Obama Administration, unemployed American males will be encouraged to join the national effort to develop, and harness this tumescent liquid. One industry that has skyrocketed is the internet porn business with free twenty four hour hook ups to computers used in stimulating this growth industry, and possibly, in an ironic turn of events the porn industry might save the global economy.

There is still a long way to go, due to the intoxicating and hallucinogenic qualities of this highly addictive oil, strict controls on it's collection and processing must be implemented. Penis oil in the wrong hands could spell disaster for the unsuspecting.

In a sign of revulsion to this new western initiative the Taliban has declared jihad on infidels taking part in this activity, this might hamper it's acceptance outside the west where traditional values a held regarding the uses of penis oil.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Cars

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more