NEW YORK CITY, New York - USA Tomorrow has announced that "American Idol" reject Tatiana Del Toro will appear with Paris Hilton in the Broadway production of Neil Simon's The Odd Couple.
A spokesperson for Paris Hilton stated that Ms. Hilton originally wanted Lindsay Lohan to co-star with her, but Hilton's manager vetoed the idea stating that Ms. Lohan has gotten way to skinny, grouchy, and basically bitchy as the dickens.
The production company decided that someone with the drama queen persona of Tatiana Del Toro would be more suited to play opposite Ms. Hilton.
Paris reportedly stated that at first she did not care for Tatiana, or Tater tot as she called her. Ms. Hilton remarked, that when she first saw her during the American Idol audition shows that she could not believe how utterly annoying she was acting.
Hilton went on to say that Tatiana was acting like a spoiled, conceited bitch and that she reminded her of a high school drama queen.
Paris added that Tats was like totally screaming, and squealing, and yelling and saying that she would be the next American Idol.
Hilton put down her latte, brushed her hair out of her eyes, posed sideways, and remarked, "And her laugh. Like my goodness. Yickers! I swear her laugh sounds like a cross between a laughing hyena and Fran Drescher."
Paris went on to say that, yes, she admits that Tats is pretty, but she quickly added that on a scale of 1 to 10, that Del Toro is a 7.5 and she's a 10.5.
Ms. Hilton grinned and added, "Tatty is hot like a Bic lighter, but I'm hot like that volcanoe that erupted outside of Washington D.C., Mt. St. Helen Thomas."
When Ms. Del Toro was asked how she felt to be starring opposite someone as well known as Paris Hilton, Tatiana replied, "Eeeeeeee! Ever since I was a little bitty talented baby growing up in Puerto Rico I have eeeeeee admired Paris.
To me Parisita is like royalty, pageantry, and admiralty all rolled into one skinny perfect white body. And how neat it must be to know that you were named after the beautiful Asian city of Paris, England."
In related news. Paris Hilton who has been having an on-going feud with CBS's Katie Couric said that now that little kitty kat Katie has gotten her hair cut she looks like she could be Joan River's granddaughter.
