NY/NY/ Rolling Stone Medicinal News - Hardened NY City drug cops announced today the latest in name branding to cash in on the nation's latest President: Bags of Crack with a red 'OBAMA' label that has taken street corners by storm.
Undercover NARC Regis McCarthy, a 22 year veteran in the fight against illegal drugs, said the new brand is flying out of the city's rent controlled housing units with the red ink still wet on the zip lock baggies.
Of additional interest, is that the Obama brand is showing up in the city's financial bedroom, Greenwich, Cn, home to some of the country's wealthiest movers and shakers in the financial industry, as well as a strong liberal bastion of the DEMOCRATIC CAUSE.
Drug sniffing dogs have followed the trail of discarded baggies as far north as the state capitol in Albany, and up to the very doors of the Governor's mansion.
Some NY tabloids are starting to link Governor Paterson's erratic behavior since taking over from former "crack" addicted "play for pay girl" Eliot Spitzer, to the possibility the sight afflicted governor is himself addicted to the OBAMA brand drug.
Critics site the 2 month fiasco over the appointment of a Senate replacement for Hillary Clinton, which led to the dissing of the very vapid Caroline Kennedy, which all but assured him he will not gain reelection in 2010 probably sending him into political rehab with John Edwards and Howard Dean.
What is most puzzling, according to EMS personnel accustomed to dealing with drug over doses on the street, is that no one appears to be affected by the OBAMA branded drug.
Rumblings are now being heard at street level that users, expecting immediate GRATIFICATION from OBAMA, are being left flat despite promises on the wrapper of fulfillment. Shawannah Jackson Kennedy Kenyatta, a crack mother, said she has "smoked it, chewed it, shot it up, stuck it up my snatch", but still "can't get off!"
Officer McCarthy said an undercover snitch, identified only as "Phil", told him before he disappeared mysteriously, that the OBAMA brand was just "more shit to have the people buy into without delivering the goods!"
The GOP said it has initiated volunteer efforts to man rehab centers to wean addicts away from the OBAMA brand of addiction by setting up community "Rush Limbaugh" safe houses in the few remaining Red States.
