Police Retreat From Downtown Miami

Funny story written by Illusnist

Friday, 23 January 2009

image for Police Retreat From Downtown Miami
"Shit man, I'm outta here."

Unable to compete with numbers or firepower, Miami police this evening are staging a 100% pull out from central Miami. This move follows years of a slowly losing battle against drugs and crime, and is scheduled to be completed "before the sun comes up."

And while many may consider leaving a large part of southern Florida to fend for itself a drastic move, officials are quick to point out that in strained economic times, the savings in administrative overhead and public attorney services alone will be enough to bail out Dade county's failing budget.

Carrying as much police property as possible, including fax machines, coffee makers, and a popular bobble-head of the Sheriff, police forces have been streaming out of the downtime area. Under the terms of the retreat treaty, each officer must have the familiar white flag attached to their person or the vehicle they are driving.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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