"Racist, Redneck, Real Readneck" PA. Residents Respond to Murtha: Congressman Dickhead!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

image for "Racist, Redneck, Real Readneck" PA. Residents Respond to Murtha: Congressman Dickhead!
"Murtha's Corner" Congressman's Office for Buying and Selling Earmarks for Votes!

Hershey,Pa - Outraged Pennsylvania Constituents responded to their Congressional Representative John "Unindicted Abscam Co-Conspirator" Murtha's derogatory remarks about them in unprecedented fury.

The former Car Wash Owner and Marine Drill Sergeant, who rose to the rank of Colonel in the National Guard, and served one year in Viet Nam, as an "Intelligence Officer", obviously feels utter disdain for the Voters who keep putting him in office.

Presiding over "Murtha's Corner", the King of Earmarks is known as the Congressional Wheeler Dealer, when it comes to selling out the taxpayers for political gain.

Caught on film during the 1980 FBI Abscam Sting, Murtha hedged his acceptance of offered bribes, but kept his options open "after I see how this is going." He then offered undercover agents information on where he thought they could best wash illegal money in Pennsylvania.

When shown the tape he promptly rolled over on two other Congressman who were seen shoveling money in their shorts, before going home to store it in their freezer.

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington have named Murtha one of the nations "top five corrupt politicians."

Former aides have been quoted saying Murtha refused the Abscam money because "He was making too much money being in charge of the House Appropriations Committee" and steering a lot of defense contracts to clients of his younger brother's lobbying company.

Concerned Veterans are said to be investigating Murtha's brief stint in Viet Nam, and why he received every medal short of the Congressional Medal of Honor while serving at a desk. Initial reports are now questioning why he and John Kerry wrote up and signed each others commendation letters.

Meanwhile the Congressman's Press Secretary said Murtha didn't really mean to call his constituents, racist, then Rednecks, then Real Rednecks, but just ignorant trailer park trash that love Jesus. "The kind of cannon fodder we used to throw on the front lines to draw fire," he was heard to explain while holding court selling votes in Congress.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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