Prostitution Rates Fall with Economy! Spitzer Takes Write-off for "Declining ASSETS!"

Funny story written by Morse

Monday, 13 October 2008


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image for Prostitution Rates Fall with Economy! Spitzer Takes Write-off for "Declining ASSETS!"
Democratic Congress Considers New Bill " Bailing Out Spitzer" for paying inflated prices for "bundled ASSETS!"

NY/NY The Working Girl Times - Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer made financial news this week as he attempted to amend his 2007 tax returns and now take a "loss" on "entertainment and medical expenses!"

The former "Client #9", caught in a prostitution scandal earlier this year and forced to resign as Governor, has cited declining prices in the NY sex trade.

"My Escort Service friends say that while business is semi-solid, stiff competition has forced prices lower," the former Governor stated in his tax appeal.

"While I worked diligently to vigorously inject capital into our economy, and pump up our state's GNP at great personal expense, I realize the price I paid for those ASSets was too high....quite frankly, I lost MY ass!"

Spitzer appears to be only one of several former high flying politicians and wall street wizards who used "stress and gender confusion" to seek relief through paid sexual liaisons and written off as "medical expenses"

Spitzer, a former attorney, and State's Attorney General, says he is considering a class action suit as he was duped into buying "over priced bundled assets", a reference to Wall Street Investment Banks that got screwed for buying over valued securities and were later bailed out.

In Chicago, the Human Commodity Market (HCM) set the price for a 1 hour session with a "female therapist" at $260 US. The rate fell to $130 US for half hour "quick adjustments." This was a major devaluation from the $4,000 Spitzer allegedly paid Ashley Dupre for her individual clandestine services.

Spitzer accountants are hard at work trying to figure the tax loss on the almost $80,000 Spitzer spent over many years for his "therapy". A recent internal memo from House and Ways Committee Chairman, Charles Wrangle (sic), has complicated the matter.

Wrangle said the value of the transaction would be figured at the full hourly rate "even if the client completed his transaction in less than 2 minutes!" This will ultimately be good news for the Governor, allowing him a full deduction for his indiscretions, and could result in a Tax Rebate of as much as $30,800 since the wealthy governor was in the 38% tax bracket.

It also sets the standard for deductions in future tax rebate claims at $6080 US per inch, a new penile benchmark for Politicians, and a personal high for Democrats.

A final hearing on the Tax Appeal will be heard after January 20th when the Obama administration is expected to grant clemency for all former Pimps, Corrupt Politicians, Sexual deviants, and Tax Cheats.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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