Palm Beach, Fl / Palm Beach Post - Burned by a recent impromptu interview with now famous "Joe the Plumber", Obama has countered with "Tim the Fornicator" to explain his socialistic strategy for "Spreading the Wealth Around" amidst GOP criticism!
Front and center is DEM Congressman Tim Mahoney, elected on a platform of family values recently featured in The Spoof, owning up to at least two illicit, adulterous affairs. The FBI is looking into his $2.5M re election campaign war chest to see if a $121,000 payoff to one of his playmates caught "working on his staff" was funded by taxpayers.
Meanwhile, the unrepentant Pimp Master says he hasn't done anything wrong. A fact apparently endorsed by his loyal wife who sat stoically through a painful on camera interview with her Viagra engorged husband.
Despite being rewarded by Motel 6 for hundreds of "Frequent Fornicating Miles" and rising electrical bills incurred on behalf of the Congressman for "always keeping a light on for him", the Congressman staunchly defended his many sexual positions regarding the Democratic Platform.
"I really don't see what all the fuss is about, "he said," I am merely carrying out the new Socialist Order of my Party....SPREADING THE WEALTH AROUND! I obviously HAVE IT, and it is only fair TO GIVE IT UP for others less fortunate. I have worked HARD to RISE TO THE TOP of my Political Profession and don't mind admitting that I've SCREWED my way to where I am today.!"
Reacting favorably to the Congressman's admission, as of press time the Palm Beach Post is still endorsing him for re election.
Meanwhile the Palm Beach Sexual Crimes Division has been over run with Tax Payers demanding that a Rape Kit test be administered to their bleeding ASS.