Omaha,NE, Children's Hospital - Citing Nebraska's Safe Haven Law to take in unruly children, The Former President and First Lady, dropped off the current President, George W., hoping the action would finally give the nation some peace during the declining days of his Presidency.
Under the guise of having W. throw out the first ball in a regional Little League game held in Omaha, the senior Bush couple made their first stop with the President at a children's hospital specializing in Autism and dysfunctional behavior.
"Signing those final abandonment papers was really hard," W's Mom said, "but we were at our wits end. His infantile, incorrigible behavior for the past 7 plus years almost broke his father's heart. Thank God for Nebraska!. It will really serve as "the last safe haven for the Country!"
To make W's stay more comfortable and meaningful, the Former President bought W the hospital's Pee Wee League Team, and appointed him president and CEO. A new field was also donated in honor of W and named "Bush League Stadium"
Due to his age, conjugal visits have also been authorized for Sunday afternoons. As of now, Conde Rice, current Secretary of State , is the only authorized cabinet member that has signed up. The President's current wife, Laura, said she may stop by sometime "if she's in town on business."
A tour of W's new quarters was eye opening. A quaint bunk bed with ship's ladder fits comfortably in the one corner, there's a 12" B@W TV in another, and small love seat and coffee table. In the center of the room a Yale throw rug adds a sense of the distant past, and posters of Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and John Ashcroft in clown outfits remind everyone of more recent events.
A modest metal locker houses W's meager wardrobe: an Air Force 1 Leather Flying Jacket, a White House logo grey sweat suit, two pair of plaid bermuda shorts, 4 long sleeve T-shirts, and a pair each of jogging sneakers and fuzzy slippers.
W seemed pleased with his accommodations and relieved that the nightmare was over. Flanked by some of his new playmates he stood at the door as his parents made their emotional exit.
Waving tentatively he was heard to whisper, " Goodbye Mommy, Goodbye Daddy....." and as their limo pulled slowly away into the Nebraska late fall afternoon, and almost wistfully, "....I'm really sorry....about everything!"