Bush Sr. Apologizes to Nation: "It shoulda' been Jeb!

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 12 October 2008

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Bush Sr. to Nation: "It should have been Jeb!"

Kennebunkport, Me/ Shipping News - In a moving and highly emotional impromptu news conference, former President George Herbert Walker Bush, apologized for his son, current President George W.

"It should have been Jeb, it should have been Jeb," the respected former President muttered, "Jeb never would have gotten us into this mess!"

The senior President Bush allowed as it was a combination of quirky events hatched behind closed doors by a group of rogue Republicans that allowed George W. to get the nomination.

"They were all drinking that night,"the President recalled, "egged on by Dick Cheney. Before you knew it he had snuck W. on the table, and in an alcoholic haze they voted for him. They forgot, it was SUPPOSED to be Jeb!"

Jeb Bush, the well respected 43rd Governor of Fl. is no light weight, having graduated college in two and a half years earning high honors. Jeb is bilingual, being fluent in Spanish, and his reputation as an even handed, level headed administrator is well documented.

W's father continued on his remorseful soul bearing. "We could never get a handle on the kid," he said,"always swinging for the fences, not willing to play the game and learning the fundamentals. He was never a team player, but he was always easily led by others. Geez, what he did to John (McCain) in the 2000 primaries was criminal. Jeb or John, I would have been happy to see either one of them get the nomination."

"Colin Powell! Now here was a great guy! Decorated war hero, astute and thoughtful. Made him Secretary of State and never listened to him. Took war advice from Donald Rumsfeld, for Pete's sake! Put him on the back burner, excluded him from meetings! Geez! Then Conde Rice....nothing against gender equality, but you pick a woman to negotiate with militant Muslims?
I hate to say it, but his head's been up his ass"

By now the former President had tears unabashedly running down his cheeks. "He's ruined the country, he's set the Republican Party back at least a decade, and because he was such a light weight we're taking the economic hit for what the DEMS caused! It's almost too much to bear! I can't tell you how sorry I am, except to tell you it wasn't a GOP thing....it had to be a gene thing, or a character thing....maybe if he had gone to a military academy like West Point he would have learned about character, leadership and principle.

"Look at John! There's a man with balls and more character than 75% of Congress...and he winds up taking the hit for this mess? It's a national tragedy!"

Finally overcome, the former President graciously thanked reporters for hearing him out. "I must be getting old,"he said softly, " I guess I better just fade away."

With that the scrappy WW II fighter pilot stepped gingerly on his 25 foot fishing boat, piloted by one of his grandsons, flipped a snappy salute to those on shore and headed off toward the horizon.

He left behind only a small wake, the mournful cries of circling Sea Gulls and the deafening silence of the attending media.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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