Washington Press Reveal that Joe Biden has Man Boobs

Monday, 6 October 2008

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A reporter that managed to sneak into the Senate Fitness Room has revealed that Senator Joe Biden, Democratic candidate for Vice President on the Barack Obama Ticket, has a large set of man boobs.

"I'd say that they were at least a b-cup and put anything Sarah Palin's got to shame," said Marty Simmons of the Washington Post.

"I was coming out of the hot tub and heading into the locker room when I turned the corner and saw Senator Biden coming from the showers. His tits had a nice jiggly bounce as he walked over and sat down on a bench. As he opened his locker, I saw him put some kind of talcum powder or baby powder on the underside of them, before binding them up. I guess the powder was to prevent chaffing."

The Obama Campaign Committee was quick to silence the laughter by pointing out that Biden was not trying to be "the biggest boob in the White House," saying that the honor still belonged to George W. Bush. They also tried to squelch the saying that a black president and Biden would give the country "grits and tits" in charge. The comment that the Democrats were trying to get rid of Bush and replace it with breasts was also offensive to the party.

Sarah Palin was slightly disturbed upon hearing the news and seeing the pictures. "His are perkier than mine! How does he get off having a nice rack?"

Upon hearing the announcement, seven different makers of female support garments quickly donated money to the Obama campaign, requesting that they be mentioned in any stories about what the candidates wore at the swearing in.

There is no word on whether or not the candidate plans to pierce his nipples, if he likes matching bra and panty sets, or if he shops at Victoria's Secret.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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