CRAWFORD, Texas - President Bush in light of the amazingly horrible state of the economy was asked while spending the weekend at his Texas home located on his Lazy Bar B Arrogant Longhorn Ranch how in the civilized world he can justify continuing the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan when together both are costing the American taxpayers an astronomical $13.8 million an hour!
Bush replied, "No problem. Hey look, I'll just put on another shift at the Treasury Department and we'll just print us up a bunch more batches of dinero." Bush grinned and added, "Ah dinero that means money to all of my 'amigos' up in Saskatoon, the Yukon, Vermont, and over in Wales."
Bush was asked just exactly how he plans to get the United States out of this awful economical mess that he and the 'Double D Boys' (Dick & Donald) have created. The 'Cowboy King' replied, "Look to be perfectly honest with you, I only have to worry about this so-called economical mess for about another 90 days or so...after that, then that short, gray-haired old fella or that tall, skinny, young fella can worry about it." He then added, "So stop asking me all these damn questions, I've already done told y'all that I'm fixing to print up a bunch more money...damnit, y'all reporter folk sure have givin' this 'hombre' one hellacious headache and like we say down in Texas, 'hijos de la...'"
(EDITOR'S NOTE: 'Hijos de la...' is Spanish for 'sons of ...")
In other news, Paris Hilton has reportedly called up Heather Locklear and offered her, her advice on the mess that she has gotten herself into. Paris stated, "Like I so much want to be here for Heather...especially with the way that Paul McCartney has treated her." When Paris was told that it was Heather Locklear and not Heather Mills that was in trouble, Paris said, "I know what I'm talking about...afterall, I happen to know the Mills family very, very well and I am very close to Heather's older sisters, Donna, Hayley,and Juliet...and they're all still 'hot.'