Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrine rescues another Wall Street Titian: [insert name here]

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Washington, DC - Be it Bear Sterns, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac or even AIG, the word on Wall Street is that the Feds are willing to go along with the new economic model of privatizing the profits while socializing the liability to Main Street. Once again, the Fed comes to the rescue of another Wall Street titan under the justification of Bush's "Too Big to Fail" economic doctrine, which supercedes the pervious Moral Hazard doctrine that still applies to Main Street.

"We what to make our message clear," said the Fed. "If you're a multinational conglomerate than you qualify for federal finical assistance because under Bush's economic system, you're just too big to fail. Please, if you need federal funds to shore up any liquidity shortages you maybe experiencing, give us a call. We're here for you."

The Fed denies criticisms that its new economic model of privatizing the profits while socializing the liability will contribute to market instability in the long run by rescuing financial institution that should be allowed to fail, thereby preventing needed market corrections.

"We want to reassure free market forces that the "Too Big to Fail" doctrine only applies to them," said the Fed. "If you're a little guy, the doctrine of Moral Hazard still applies to you. If you get into financial trouble, you are on your own. Yup, the buck stops with you little guy because after all somebody has got to pay the bills around here."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more