From the Heartland/AP - Robert Paxton, the Iowa Community College President recently forced to resign after pictures of drinking revelry with students appeared in print, landed on his feet with a new position in higher education.
Pictures of Paxton partying in a boat on Lake Okobji and holding a beer keg upside down for a nubile coed to imbibe, cost him the job he held for 13 years, but he didn't leave empty handed. In addition to the $400,000 buyout offered by the college, he received continued health care benefits for an unspecified amount of time.
The Coalition of College Presidents (CCP), numbering about 100, who recently proposed lowering the drinking age to 18,(see earlier Spoof article) immediately hired Paxton to be their spokesman.
An official said Paxton will be teamed with former NC Democratic Senator John Edwards to form a dynamic duo of role models for entering freshman during orientation weeks around the country at the nations' leading institutions of higher learning. Paxton and Edwards will receive no salary, but will subsist off their speaking fees which have just been raised from $55,000 to $65,000,each, adjusted for inflation, per appearance.
The pair will link the pleasures of binge drinking with group sex and their importance to a rounded curriculum. Both will appear before a Senate Sub-committee hosted by House Speaker Nanci Pelosi who is sponsoring the lower age drinking bill on behalf of Meyers Rum and the Dole Pineapple Co.
Early reports indicate the speaking sessions, featuring free samples of rum punch, are sold out and tickets are now being scalped on E-Bay.
