Aliens Attack Mississippi - Tens of Dollars Damage

Funny story written by Chuck Barber

Sunday, 16 May 2004

(Jackson, Mississippi) What is being called a "motor boat from Mars" apparently dove repeatedly upon Jackson, Mississippi this morning, strafing with an exploding light beam and flying through homes, businesses and schools, wreaking havoc and leaving in its wake over a hundred dollars worth of damage.

Dozens of eyewitnesses to the destruction described the craft as resembling a motorboat piloted by a laughing man.

Elmwood Portis was the only Jacksonian who had a camera at the ready and took one photograph before "the space ship come right at me and I run into the bushes. When it flew over me I could hear the pilot laughing. Then his raybeam blew up my car and I just stayed in the bushes until he was gone."

Others were not so fortunate and were caught in the open. Jesse Godwin was crossing a field in the middle of downtown Jackson when a barn blew up and the "doggone motorboat from Mars flew out of the fire and headed right at me. He was shining his ray beam everywhere blowin' stuff up. I started to run, but the ray beam hit me and blowd my pants off. That knocked me down and I was lying there and watched him head over yonder and blow up the blacksmiths!"

Harlee Tucker, Mayor of Jackson, surveyed the damage and said it will take months to get things back in order, but that "people won't be forgetting about this for a lot longer than that. Just wait ‘til the next time some alien wants to open up a tortilla shop!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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