ABC Channel Creates New Television Program!

Funny story written by Christopher Gallo

Saturday, 7 June 2008

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Buck Swope, president of American Broadcasting Company, announced today that the station will soon be producing a television program aimed specifically for their regular viewers.

The station is due to launch a show entitled "Hum" in the summer of 2009. According to reports, the show will be one hour long with commercial breaks and will feature a vibrant rainbow color scheme set as the background to a low, static-like humming noise. This will continue throughout the show's duration and there will be no change in sound or color.

Mr. Swope states, "We've taken statistics here at ABC and they've shown that our main viewers will watch damn near about anything we put on the air. I mean, come on, "Ugly Betty"? I wouldn't even put Idi Amin in front of that TV screen."

Vice-president Jimmy Gator had this to say about the new show; "The brilliant thing about the "Hum" project is that it cuts down on the amount of staff we have to use per show. Think about it. One sound guy. One visual guy. The rest we can just lay off. We didn't put much effort into the reality shows, but this one's a piece of cake!"

The station's viewers are also enamored with this idea, especially one Lena Leonard from South Florida. "Shit, I just wish they coulda come up with this ages ago! Before this new "Hum" show, if I wanted to zone out while watchin' the TV, I had to watch goddamn "Desperate Housewives"!"

ABC will reportedly be dropping one of their many sitcoms to feature this new program.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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