Hollywood, California - Apparently suffering from the postoperative side effects of yet another Botox injection that migrated to the brain, tummy tuck aneurysm or silicone breast augmentation seepage to the blood stream, aging diva, Sharon Stone, shocked the world by insinuating that Karma was to blame for the devastating earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of innocent Chinese people last week. She attributed the natural disaster to some cosmic payback for the Chinese government's brutal policy toward Tibet independence.
"Everybody knows that the citizens of every nation of the world are to be held personally responsible for the collective actions of their government," said a spokesman for Sharon Stone. "Why should the Universal Truth of Buddhism such as Karma differ from the teachings of any other major religion for that matter as well? One in which a deity uses collective punishment against the innocents for exercising their nature but which it still holds accountable for their inability to control it, ironically laying just beyond the borne."
"Oh I agree," said Xau Xing an illiterate uneducated Chinese peasant whose house and village collapsed on her entire family and friends killing them all. "As the American actress Sharon Stone and government officials have explained to me, Tibetan Buddhists monks have invented a weapon of mass destruction (WMD) called the Karma Earthquake Machine (KEM) that has taken my house, family and even my village away from me. The very reason my government has been diligently searching Tibet all these years but those tricky monks have hidden it well…or was it in a well. Sometimes I forget what I'm told to remember."
Xing says that now that the Karma Earthquake Machine has taken everyone and everything she ever loved or cared for from her on the earth that she is ready to join her ancestors and friends.
"I'm a Communist and an Atheists so I can't afford some sophisticated superstitious religious edict to mask my nature," said Xing from underneath her tent and beneath her breath. "So therefore I respectfully call upon my government officials to revenge the death of my ancestors. They must make another preemptive first strike against Tibet. This time taking out the Karma Earthquake Machine once and for all."
Xing says that both she and her government are greatly indebted to Sharon Stone for opening their eyes and reminding the peoples of China the reason why their government is in Tibet to this very day, and why it must remain so for a hundred years, if necessary. At least until seismic activity is stable enough for them to withdraw.