Sen. Ted Kennedy shot by sniper while ordering breakfast

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Saturday, 17 May 2008

image for Sen. Ted Kennedy shot by sniper while ordering breakfast
"...and, when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make lovely the face of heaven."

Sen. Edward Kennedy was rushed to a hospital in Cape Code, Massachusetts this morning with an apparent gunshot wound, his office confirmed.

Kennedy was flown to Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston for evaluation after initial treatment, arriving at 8:50 a.m, a statement from his office said.

Massachusetts General said it had no information on Kennedy other than he is the second-longest serving member of the Senate.

A well-informed Democratic source said the 76-year-old senator had "symptoms of a gunshot to the head" from an as-yet unidentified assailant wearing a Hillary button.

Kennedy has represented Massachusetts in the Senate since 1962. He is one of only six senators in U.S. history to serve more than 40 years. He is known as a liberal champion of social issues such as health care, family leave, and the minimum wage.

Kennedy is the youngest of nine children in the ill-fated family of Joseph and Rose Kennedy.

Ted Kennedy has recently endorsed Illinois Sen. Barack Obama for the 2008 presidential nomination.

According to Kennedy's office, his endorsement of Obama and the subsequent assassination attempt are unrelated.

Rose Kennedy's famous black dress has been disinterred and sent to the cleaners.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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