Catholic's Secret Extraterrestrial Connections Revealed in Book that Vatican Tried to Ban

Funny story written by Erebrown

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

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Is Christ an Extraterrestial-Human Hybrid?

ER Escober's The Givenchy Code and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code have one thing in common: Vatican tried to ban both books. In Da Vinci Code's case, because it includes a Vatican coverup of an explosive theological secret: Jesus was married! In ER Escober's The Givenchy Code, because of an even more explosive theological secret : Jesus Christ is an extraterrestial-human hybrid.

For months, Vatican had asked for a boycott of ER Escober's book, saying "Don't buy and don't read that book. There's a big anti-Catholic prejudice. It aims to discredit the church and its history through gross and absurd manipulations."

Well, today Vatican has sort-of reconsidered its stand on ER Escober's Givenchy Code. The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, Jesuit director of the Vatican observatory confirmed the existence of extraterrestial beings adding that "Believing that the universe may contain alien life does not contradict a faith in God."

"How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?" Funes said. "Just as we consider earthly creatures as 'a brother,' and 'sister,' why should we not talk about an 'extraterrestrial brother'? It would still be part of creation."

Is this conciliatory tone, this definitive admission that aliens do exist, a step towards admitting that Jesus Christ was indeed an offspring of Mother Mary's encounter with an extraterrestrial being?

Funes does not confirm but went on to say that science, especially astronomy, does not contradict religion, touching on a theme of Pope Benedict XVI, who has made exploring the relationship between faith and reason a key aspect of his papacy.

Funes further urged the church and the scientific community to leave behind divisions caused by Galileo's persecution 400 years ago, saying the incident has "caused wounds."

In 1633 the astronomer was tried as a heretic and forced to recant his theory that the Earth revolved around the sun. Church teaching at the time placed Earth at the center of the universe. "The church has somehow recognized its mistakes," he said. "Maybe it could have done it better, but now it's time to heal those wounds and this can be done through calm dialogue and collaboration." And he added with a chuckle, those Magi who visited Jesus in Bethlehem were not real kings but in fact astrologers/astronomers.

The Vatican Observatory located in Castle Gandolfo is special, not only because it was build on the top of the high ridge, but because it has three domes. One is that of church. Other two are mobile telescope domes. It is considered one of the oldest astronomical research institutions in the world.

ER Escober's The Givenchy Code, which featured a winking Mona Lisa in its cover, is available to buy at all good book shops.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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