Obama pulled off a squeaker on the South pacific isle of Guam by beating Hillary Clinton by 7 votes.
Guamese political experts attributed Obama's close victory to his campaigning in a grass skirt for starters.
Chief Tonga Tide shyly disclosed those pants suits are a real turn off for Guamese voters. He thought Obama's basketball strengthened legs clearly on display beneath the grass mini skirt may have swayed voters in the palm tree swaying US protectorate.
Chief Tide went on to tell reporters that no South Pacific tribe would ever have a woman as chief, never mind one who got angry over her husband's innocent grass skirt chasing. "We Men of Guam need a little poo poo platter on the side. We always come home for the main dish so our ladies don't care if we go out later a little sweet treat."