The World's most wanted terrorist, Osama Bin Laden is planning to dupe millions of American citizens into voting him into office of President of USA later this year. To show what nice chap he is, he is not going to do it by gunpoint or blood-curding threats on Al Jazeera, no bullets, knives, airliners or Weapons of Mass Destruction in sight.
From his hiding place in a shed in Scunthorpe, 'Uncle Ozzie' told In Seine News;
"I read somewhere that the pen is mightier than the sword and this got me thinking: all I've got to do is substitute all the polling cards (this is a common practice anyway in US Elections). One of the candidates will definitely be Barak Obama and so all I need to do is change one letter on the polling card."
"Most Americans lead busy lives and the rest of them can't read, so when they choose Obama, hopefully they won't notice the subtle 'typo' 'OSAMA'. I will have legitimately been voted in as US president - anyway I think it's about time that American people were governed by a 'friendly' terrorist instead of an 'aggressive' terrorist." He explained.
"I am also looking forward to living in the White house - you know that big fancy one that I didn't hit on 9/11, because it has 100 rooms; each of my 72 virgin wives can have a bedroom to themselves and there is ample parking for 1,000 camels." He said as he fondly fondled the First Gecko.
