Washington (IPP) - The Supreme Court ruled 5 to 4 today that Ohm's law is unconstitutional.
Clarence Thomas wrote for the majority opinion and stated that if I equals E over R then R equals E over I and E equals I times R but Pie are round and not square then it stands to reason that the law needs to be written in such a way that the lay man should be able to understand the law or how is he going to be able to obey the law ? He therefore and forthwith came to the legal conclusion that the law needs to be rewritten in a language that the public can readily understand.
Judge Poindexter Finootch who is the brother of the famous astronomer, Dr. Povenmire Finootch, wrote for the minority and stated that the law has been around for a long time and seems to work just fine and therefore should be left well enough alone.
The dismantling of the law threatens to shut down electrical systems throughout the planet. The systems have been operating by using Ohm's law for a century and it will be impossible to modify electrical systems so that they can operate outside of Ohm's law without bringing electrical operations to a halt worldwide.
Professor of electrical engineering at Florida Institute of Technology in Vero Beach, Dr. Thomas Granims, told reporters that the Kanooter valve system he invented can be attached to all electrical devices and that this would allow the devices to work outside of Ohm's law.
The value of stocks in Dr. Granims electrical corporation, Kanooter Systems International (KSI) soared 34 points today on the NASDAQ stock exchange to over $84 a share after the supreme court's ruling was made public. The stock symbol has sixty-two million shares outstanding and has a PE of 14.
Dr. Granims told reporters he would be out of town for a few days as he will be playing golf with Judge Thomas in Washington this weekend.
