UN Declares Dick Cheney More Dangerous Than Osama bin Laden

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Monday, 1 October 2007

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Washington, D.C. Although, in the past, Osama bin Laden has generally been considered the "Most Wanted" man on the planet, a new consensus is developing that US Vice President Dick Cheney is really the most dangerous lunatic on the planet.

Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton observed that "Osama bin Laden's attack on the World Trade Center resulted in the tragic loss of at least 3,000 innocent lives. However, this pales in comparison to the US bombing of Iraq, in which 100,000 innocent people were killed, making it 30 times more horrific that the 911 disaster."

"Now we are told that the attack on Iraq was all over a mistaken security report," Professor Hampton continued. "But few Americans now believe that story. Even Alan Greenspan recently came out and acknowledged what everyone already knows...that the war in Iraq is all about oil."

Professor Hampton continued "that makes the US invasion of Iraq an Act of Aggression, and the most aggregeous violation of International Law since Hitler marched on Europe."

Professor Hampton added "At some point the American people have to take responsibility for being "Good Germans" and dociley going along with this horrific wrongdoing."

"Now the reports are that Dick Cheney is about to make a fanatical effort to launch a war against Iran, even though nobody else in the Republican Party, or the National Security establishment wants to see that happen."

"If Cheney, in his quest for Oil, succeeded in launching a nuclear strike against Iran, it would probably go down as the worst War Crime in history." Professor Hampton concluded, "Given the bloody mess we have already created in the Middle East, Americans have to ask whether they want further atrocities on their consciences, by remaining silent in these circumstances?"

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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