Cheney Says America's Youth Have Bright Future

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Sunday, 16 September 2007

image for Cheney Says America's Youth Have Bright Future
These two honest workers would rather take their chances

Reports by the US Treasury Department that Social Security and Medicare will be bankrupt by 2041, and there will be nothing left for our young people when they retire, has caused an entire generation of our youth to become frightened, aggressive, hypertensive and confused.

Adding to the bleak scenario that most young people perceive, is the fact that as Americas manufacturing jobs continue to move overseas, the new jobs that are being created in America's service sector, are low-paying, and without benefits. So, while young people can no longer count on any Social Security, they also will have no 401K plan with matching company benefits in which to invest.

The Government Accounting office has stated that, "with our priority for spending $10 billion per month on the War in Iraq...a war that can't be won, a war that can't be ended, a war that has no purpose, and a war that will go on forever...there is simply no money left over to invest in our youth at home."

Vice President Dick Cheney was characteristically optimistic, when he said that building a stable nation in Iraq, that will be a showpiece for Democracy in the Middle East, presents an exciting opportunity for America's young people.

"The volatility of America's labor market, has contributed to our nation's economic efficiency." Cheney stated. "Like anybody else, if these young people can't find satisfactory jobs in their community, they need to go where the jobs are."

"In Iraq, right now, we need people to carry guns, people to dig post-holes, people to re-build hospitals, and people to help de-activate land mines. These are boom times for Americans working in Iraq," Cheney remarked. "$10 billion dollars per month is a lot of money!"

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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