Written by Noshing Mink

Saturday, 15 September 2007


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image for Police try to question OJ about theft; former NFL star threatens suicide and flees in Ford Bronco
Sporting memorabilia stolen from Las Vegas hotel

Las Vegas - Police investigating the theft of sporting memorabilia from a hotel announced that the main suspect was OJ Simpson. Simpson, who had claimed ownership of the goods, promptly stole a white Ford Bronco, placed a gun against his own head and started driving north along the Interstate 15.

A sheriff's deputy sighed and told us:

"It's getting a little irritating every time we want to question Simpson about something, he steals a white Bronco, threatens to blow his brains out and bolts like a rabbit."

The deputy was referring to events in 1994, when police wanted to question the former NFL star about the unlawful killings of his wife and her boyfriend. In a subsequent high-profile trial, a jury cleared Simpson of all charges, though another jury in a civil case found against him.

Simpson had previously acted in a number of films, including the Naked Gun trilogy, where his character had always ended up being caught under a vehicle and being dragged across the country. A friend told us:

"What can I say? OJ loves to travel. When some people get stressed, they smoke or drink. OJ likes to get behind the wheel of a white Ford Bronco, put a gun against his head and drive."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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