Ron Paul has sex with Woman

Written by NickFun

Friday, 24 August 2007

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Ron Paul (above) was allegedy seen fornicating

Peter Skizinski, a 42-year-old masonry worker and self-professed "peeping tom", admitted to the news media that he saw Texas Representative and aspiring Presidential candidate Ron Paul fornicating with an unknown woman last night as he stood outside Paul's window on a tree limb.

"I was in a tree outside Ron Paul's bedroom window last night when I heard some moaning", Skizinski said. "When I got a closer look I saw Ron Paul on top of this woman sucking her nipples then heaving and thrusting, heaving and thrusting. All the while she was moaning and obviously enjoying it".

Other members of the Republican Party were outraged at Paul's act of fornication. "That's disgusting", said Mike Huckabee, former Governor of Arkansas and Republican candidate. "We don't need fornicators in the White House. Paul should be kicked out of Congress for this".

California Representative Duncan Hunter agreed with Huckabee. "The man has violated the principles of God and he should be punished!"

Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts, insists that Paul be brought before Congress and has proposed a $24 million Grand Jury investigation. "At least Clinton didn't have actual sex with a woman", Romney said at an afternoon luncheon. "What Paul did even puts himself below Democrats".

Pope Benedict XVI sent an official communication from the Vatican formally ex-communicating Paul from the Catholic Church, even though Paul is a Lutheran.

Skizinski is scheduled to be on David Letterman this evening followed by the Today Show tomorrow morning.

Ron Paul himself did not deny the allegations. "That was my wife", Paul said, revealing the woman's identity.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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