Obama Threatens Discrimination Lawsuit if He Isn't Nominated and Elected

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Friday, 3 August 2007

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Obama dreams of ruling the world

Senator Obama, a leading candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination, has declared that he will sue his party on charges of racial discrimination if he is not nominated. Further, he has stated that he will sue the United States of America if he is not elected the next President.

In a speech today in Chicago, Obama used a bunch of jive and slang and ebonics, so was not intelligible to the average or educated person. A translation of that speech, however, contained the following quotes:

"This country has been here over 200 years and the closest any black man has ever come to being president was as a servant in the White House! We have never had any major nomination from any major party. That is discrimination and I will not stand for it."

"I have a dream of my own. In my dream, we live in a rold where minorities, especially African-Americans, are more equal than whities and them other spics, chinks, beaners, gooks, and hymies."

"I dream of a world where I can call my brothers nigger, but where I can legally shoot any honkie who uses that word."

"I dream of a world where I am allowed to speak my mind and make up holidays like Kwanza and legislate that others observe them, but do not allow Christmas to be observed or the ten commandments to be posted."

"I dream of a world where black children actually know who their father is, and can live as multi-generational welfare families without shame or scorn."

"We are fast approaching that day now. We have seen Don Imus fired for saying nappy headed ho, but Al Sharpton allowed to continue for publically saying Mormons are not Christian. That, my friends, is a victory for our society!"

"I want us not more to be red states or blue states. I want us all to be black states!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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