Manchester United Sign 9-Year-Old Boy To Partner Tevez

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 3 August 2007

image for Manchester United Sign 9-Year-Old Boy To Partner Tevez
Rhain takes the ball past Rio Ferdinand in training

Premiership champions Manchester United have made a significant delve into the transfer market this week to purchase a 9-year-old schoolboy to partner their other new signing Carlos Tevez.

Rhain Davis has joined United from local kids league side Redlands United where he has scored more than 200 goals in 26 games this season. This included 41 in a single game in a 58-36 win against Longsight Wanderers three weeks ago.

The new signings go straight into Sir Alice Ferguson's squad to face Reading in the Premier League opener on 12th August.

Rhain's mum says he is a bright little lad who loves playing on his Xbox and "jumping in muddy puddles". He has played football since he was 9 months old, and, in this respect, he is very similar to motor racing wonderkid Lewis Hamilton, who could drive before he could walk.

According to Mrs Davis, Rhain is really looking forward to getting started in his new career at Old Trafford.

"He can't wait to miss out on a normal childhood" she said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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