476 People Die at 2007 Woodstock Music Festival

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

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Woodstock, New York (IP) - Shocking reports filtering out of upstate New York indicate that almost 500 people have lost their lives at the modern day Woodstock Rock festival.

The deaths were all caused by legal modern day pharmaceutical drugs. The drugs include diabetes control medications, anti-cholesteral drugs, sedatives, pain killers, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, and medications prescribed to alleviate attention deficit disorder.

Incredibly these are all legal drugs that were not being abused for recreational purposes. Many drugs are routinely approved by the FDA after being rushed through the testing phase without adequate results being accumulated to determine if the drugs are safe for humans. Profits are more important that safety.

Back in 1970 three people died at the rock festival. One music fan died after being run over by a tractor while the fan slept in a sleeping bag, another died from falling off of a scaffold, and a third died from a drug over dose.

There is a constant barrage of commercials urging folks to take dangerous legal medications and doctors get a commision on every pill they prescribe. There are two or three drug stores at every intersection in America and these stores can barely keep up with the demand for powerful, and addictive drugs prescribed to people of all ages.

Instead of an appearance by the Iron Butterfly a fluorescent yellow butterfly was seen buzzing the audience at the modern day Woodstock. Actress Lynn Clark was seen sleeping comfortably in a bed amidst all the noise much like the part she plays in a sleeping pill commercial. She once played the part of Jerry Seinfeld's girlfriend and she and Jerry spent a miserable weekend at an upstate New York bed and breakfast and they fought about Jerry selling a stock at a loss and then they broke up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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