Yorkshire - (Ass Mess): Rehab surgeons at the Promises! Promises! detox clinic in Yorkshire have extracted half a tonne of cocaine from Pete Doherty's bodily fluids as the Babyshambles singer underwent his first day's treatment for addiction recovery.
The musician was said to be so tanked up that a forcible extraction under general anaesthetic was deemed necessary rather than letting nature take its course with the statutory seven-day withdrawal involving bleeding, sweating, tears, double incontinence, vomiting and related eruptions of toxicity.
Medics have said that the recovered narcotic would fetch a sizeable sum on the black market and could be put towards Doherty's detox fees.
Alternatively after a purification process the cocaine derivative could be re-processed for dental purposes and this would easily produce enough novocaine to knowck out all the NHS's dental needs for the North of England until 2012.
Doherty is reported to be under sedation tonight as rehab staff get ready for his smack withdrawal treatment tomorrow which involves the sort of technical apparatus beloved by Princess Diana during her colonic irrigation phase.
Kate Moss is 34.
