Dog Arrested for Practicing Dentistry Without License

Funny story written by Doppelbock

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for Dog Arrested for Practicing Dentistry Without License
Local terrier "Dusty" gets a check-up from canine dentist Duke.

AKRON, OHIO (AP Newsliar) -- Duke, a four-year old mutt of mixed Cocker Spaniel/Labrador heritage owned by Akron, Ohio residents Lou and Doris Beldner, has been arrested for practicing dentistry without a license.

Duke is being held on a $5000 bond. If convicted, he faces a 10-year prison sentence (that's 70 in dog-years).

The dog began treating local neighborhood pets for dental afflictions last fall. He performed denture fittings and made false teeth in his owner's garage, charging just ten milk bones or three rawhide chewy-treats for procedures that would normally cost hundreds of dollars. But he was not licensed to practice dentistry in the state of Ohio.

Summit County sheriff's deputy Hal Eluya stated there were "serious health risks posed by the unclean nature of the home facility" being used to perform dental procedures. Neighbors and patients, however, praised Duke for saving them thousands of dollars.

"Abner and I are on a fixed budget," said Ethyl Bodnik, 72, of Akron. "We just can't afford the kind of expensive dental surgery our little Pookie needed. Duke was really our only resort, and he did a good job."

"Brrrawwowow, yip yip yip, brrraawwww," agreed Pookie, who punctuated her comments by piddling on the sidewalk.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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