Uncle Sam Calls it Quits!

Funny story written by Thomas Paine

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

image for Uncle Sam Calls it Quits!

That Great American Icon Uncle Sam announced today he has decided to emigrate to Iraq. When asked about his decision he was quoted as saying "I'm tired of the bad name I get by being associated with the Politicians here in Washington.

I'm pretty much the odd man out here in D.C. The last time they called on me was to support the Patriot act. Little did I realize it had nothing to do with Patriots or The Constitution! I'm hoping I can get a fresh start, maybe Iraq is ready for a little self-government and Liberty."

Sam reportedly has packed up all of his things, including Habeus Corpus, The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution. Tourists visiting Washington D.C. were somewhat surprised to see the man in Red, White and Blue rummaging through the capitol. However one tourist we talked to had this to say: "Eh, it's no big deal we don't really use those documents anyways..."

Spokesmen for the the Cheney Imperial Palace released this statement: "Frankly we're glad he's gone. We've been suggesting that he should take some time off, but after 6 years we thought he'd never take the hint!"

In a related news item top Chenian officials have deported former Presidential hopeful Congressman Ron Paul to Gitmo. Palace spokesman Bill O'Reilly stated "Since Sam took that Constitution thingy with him, we decided Dr. Paul should go too. Hell, he's the only one of us who bothered to read the thing!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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