Ron Paul Wins Election After Donnybrook

Funny story written by Aces-high

Monday, 9 July 2007

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Pres. Ron Paul

WASHINGTON - After George W. Bush claimed for himself the title of "New American Dictator" in 2007, the election process in the US was changed for good, with Bush's claim to power until his death, either timely or untimely.

But through pressure from every single US citizen - and a number of incidents involving dog manure and wet rolls of toilet paper - Bush agreed to match wits with 'America's Choice' Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) in a debate that would decide the election.

The two men sparred-off with the issue of the war in Iraq.

Mr. Paul spoke convincingly with knowledge and eloquence on the many topics in the war.

When Mr. Bush started speaking, it was obvious who the winner would be. He garbled every-other word in what can best be described as 'incoherent' or 'unintelligible.' He spoke in half-truths and half-witted attempts at humor that made the 1000+ audience of mostly Ron Paul supporters cringe and boo loudly.

Not even half-way through the debate, Bush started mumbling under his breath in words that would make a sailor blush. He then began crying hysterically, and ran like a school-girl toward Paul, arms flailing.

Ron Paul attempted to talk with Bush about his losing, but Bush kept coming at him. Paul grabbed his microphone, swung it around his head like Roger Daltrey, and cold-cocked Mr. Bush square in the temple.

Bush then ran into former VP Dick Cheney's arms and sobbed for a lengthy period.

Mr. Paul said he had no choice in his action. "You can't fight a hysterical, mentally disordered person with only your fists. It's unfortunate, but that's what I had to do."

President Ron Paul will be moving into the White House as soon as it is debugged.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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