Written by Skews Me

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

image for Report: More war means more food
600,000 fewer mouths to feed

An internal State Department memo leaked to the press this weekend details plans for increasing the war push in preparation for low crop yields this summer.

"Side effects of the global honeybee die-off will have a devastating impact on the ability to feed our country," states the report. "It is therefore recommended that we immediately increase the number of troops in current and future war zones."

Other nations have secretly adopted similar proposals according to the report.

In 1994, renowned explorer Jacques Cousteau stated that the "world population must be stabilized and to do that we must eliminate 350,000 people per day." The report suggests that the number be increased to 600,000 to avoid massive starvation.

Suggestions to increase the number of executions of convicts on death row were also addressed.

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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