Last week, our reporter Dolph Harris went to the sleepy town of Catshite in Liverpool to find out whether or not the strange sightings of an apparent 2 ton black and white spotted chicken grazing in some fat blokes shed was real.
To his shock, he was attacked by the weird creature while taking pictures of the lovely scenary then, without warning, tripped over a sleeping tramp, fell to the floor, and was pecked within a inch of his life by a 6ft x 6ft giant chicken cow.
"It was terrifying. I shit myself and was even too scared to clean my pants. I will never forget what I saw!"
So far the strange creature has taken 12 lives. Fortunately, our reporter only had his under crackers damaged by the shear mess of the fudgey stuff.
The beast has a claim to fame however, after attacking darts bloke, and world champion midget masturbator, Jim "The bad ass" Bowen, while at an orgy with the Crankeys.