The Muslim Council of Edgware Road is enraged at the Government's smoking ban which they say will harm business for the many ethnic cafes in the "Beirut" area of London's West End.
Council secretary Sheikh Rattle Enroll says that the hubble-bubble is central to Arab life and he told "The Spoof" of his fears that a smoking ban in coffee bars will drastically reduce their trade and lead to many having to close down.
He described the new law as blatantly Islamaphobic.
"While we do not condone violence in any shape or form", he said, "if the Government does not reverse their policy suicide bombings would most certainly be justified."
