Thousands all demanding free passage, turned back at border

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Thursday, 7 June 2007

image for Thousands all demanding free passage, turned back at border
Mexi/Cans Protest Again? Big Deal! No? Yes! Iou!

Washington, DC - Thousands of Mexican citizens wanting to immigrate into the United States rushed the US/Mexico border while still thousands less Canadians even showed up at the US/Canadian border today all claiming to have contracted the deadly incurable tuberculosis disease that infected the 31-year-old layer, Andrew Speaker, last week.

Reacting to news reports about the Atlanta man infected with the deadly incurable TB disease who was allowed to travel freely throughout United States, Canada, Europe and Greece without any restrictions placed on him, thousands of Mexicans and Canadians combined figured that if they contracted the deadly disease, or at least claimed to, they too would be allowed free passage.

Border and Homeland Security officials in Washington, DC could only order the border guards to take applications, instructing them to tell the crowds that the Center for Disease Control would be in contact with them shortly.

"I have never seen anything like this," said US Border guard, Anthony Martinez. "They were holding up signs that read: 'Let me pass. I got the killer TB too!"

"Former Canadians protesting? I never even knew they knew how," said John Culver, US border guard on the US side of the US/Canadian border. "They were yelling, too. Some even cursing at me, but they had a French accent."

"All were demanding that their US naturalized citizenship be revoked and to have their Canadian citizenship reinstated immediately," continued Culver. "Claiming they were, like the Mexicans, infected with the deadly TB."

Only, unlike the Mexicans, Canadians claim they can only be treated by one of the world's best heavily government subsidized drug and universal healthcare programs, coming at the expense of their country's most wealthiest citizens, exploited in kind by the very same Americans ordering their medicine from the Great White North, and its cheep labor from the South.

Apparently, not only are the Mexicans and Canadians getting into the act, however. Americans are now claiming that they too have the deadly TB disease.

The US Postal Service, primarily responsible for taking passport and visa applications for the United States government, has also reported a rise in the number of US born citizens claiming on their applications to have contracted the deadly disease and needing to travel abroad.

Only, they are using it as an excuse to bypass the highly restrictive security measures instituted after 9/11, having forgotten the trade off of their liberty for security that they tacitly agreed to by their own political apathy, indifference or fear mongering.

They are saying they have it too, believing that they will be able to travel freely throughout the United States and abroad, said a travel agent who is advising all his clients to do the same.

"Hey, if it works. It works," said Jack Perkly, an American headed for a European vacation. "It's hell traveling in the United States after 9/11. You can't get in or out without having to wait in line for hours and hours, just to have some guy run a credit check on you and still wand you in the gonads. You know that can't be good."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more