Written by Buck E Filbert

Monday, 4 June 2007


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image for Paris Hilton Surrenders, Strip Search Tapes to be Released

Lynwood Calif. Paris Hilton surrendered herself to the Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department Sunday night at 11:30 pm. Paris was booked into The Century Regional Detention Facility one day earlier than ordered by a Los Angeles judge.

Paris, never one to pass up a publicity opportunity just happened to turn herself in on the opening night for the new Simple Life series that she co-stars with Nicole Richie.

In another diabolical masterminded manipulation of the media, it turns out Paris's strip search was video taped in three angles and it will be leaked accidentally to the public. Insiders say the tape details all the lurid things associated with a strip search from the strip tease to delousing to the full blown cavity search with multiple penetrations. Strange that, like her infamous, "One Night in Paris", sex tape that also coincided with the opening of the premier season of, The Simple Life, Paris has once again turned a negative into a positive. The incarceration becomes a publicity stunt for her season opener.

Paris was seen on the red carpet earlier that day for the MTV movie awards. Paris did not look one bit amused when Sarah Silverman, MC for the show, cracked a couple of Paris in jail jokes. The audience on the other hand howled. One joke said the guards had painted the bars in Paris's cell to look like penises to make her feel more at home, Silverman was concerned Paris might chip her teeth on her cell bars. When the camera cut to Hilton, she was not laughing.

Paris was pulled over twice on a suspended license. Her license was suspended after a DUI. This blatant disregard for her probation terms prompted the judge to give her 45 days in jail, later reduced to 21 days.Hilton will be credited with a full day even though she only put in 30 minutes on Sunday. As usual Ms Hilton hedges all bets.

From this day forward The Century Regional Detention Center will be known as the Paris, "Hilton".

Argg Argg Argg

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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