Written by Robert W. Armijo

Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Def Jam Records offers to pickup Paris Hilton's Recording Contract, after Warner Bros. Dumps her
Paris Hilton now with Def Jam Records?

Hollywood, California - Claiming dismal record sales, Paris Hilton, on the eve of her imprisonment, was served with more bad news when Warner Brother Records announced today they would be releasing her from her recording contract with them. Def Jam Records, however, announced they would be willing to signup Hilton to their record label.

"That's not hot," said Hilton at hearing the news while attending her own candlelight vigil.

Although claiming poor record sales, many music industry insiders claim the real reason for Warner Brothers Records dumping Hilton was because of her upcoming imprisonment. She no longer represents the wholesome image Warner Brothers wishes to reflect, say music industry insiders.

Warner Brothers was concerned that Paris Hilton is crossing over into the hip-hop gangster rap market segment that 14 year-old White girls should not be exposed to at this time.

Def Jam Records has something to gain in the deal, however. They have recently come under fire by critics, quick to point out in light of the Imus aftermath, that many of their artists' lyrics are defamatory against Black women. Signing on the likes of Paris Hilton, a White chick, would go far in quieting calls for self-censorship, said a free speech advocate.

White America is not so critical when their White women are allowed to exercise their liberties, calling it patronizingly, outspokenness or merely exploring their sexuality.

"Their [Warner Brothers or the likes] idea of flirting with danger is the 'wholesome' image of Britney kissing Madonna kind of thing," said a Black music industry insider. "Not Black men voicing their reality."

Politics aside, signing up with Def Jam Records will also afford Hilton some personal benefits and perks, Warner Brothers could never offer her while in prison.

Hilton will be afforded Def Jam's 'on the fringe benefits prison package' offered to all its recording artists, which includes: free legal counsel by the finest jailhouse lawyers, around the clock prison posse protection, and medical services provided by Homeboy's prison HMO plan.

No word as to whether or not Hilton will sign with Def Jam Records as of yet. Hilton's check-in time is anytime before midnight, Tuesday, June 5th, so time is running out for her.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Paris Hilton




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
32 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more