Vermont Steals Ron Paul And Secedes From US

Funny story written by Lone Star

Monday, 4 June 2007

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Emergency Session called to address the Republic of Vermont

Montpelier, VT (FP) - In a shocking, historic move, the entire state of Vermont has voted to secede from the United States of America. Representatives from the newly formed Republic of Vermont stated various grievances against The United States Of America.

Among the list of grievances are rampant corporate corruptions, in the highest levels of government, unjust and undeclared wars, an unsustainable economy with a looming bust approaching, and hundreds of other grievances that have made the platform of Ron Paul's campaign.

"We just got so sick of it, we decided to make a stand." Jeremy Ronaldson, a new citizen of the Republic of Vermont, said.

The United States Constitution does not explicitly forbid a state from succeeding from the Union, but the executive branch of the United States Government said it was extremely displeased by the move and that it would focus 10% of the Iraq surge to invade Vermont and return the new republic to the Union.

Congress is said to be embarrassed by Vermont's move. Speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi said, "We thought we raised her right, but she kept talking back, and now she's gone. Papa is not going to be happy about this and I have no control over Papa when he gets home." She was said to be hysterical and screaming something about how awful the US flag was going to look now.

The Supreme Court is apathetic mainly due to the fact that they no longer have much power due to erosive legislations. "We really don't have much to do anymore. Congress has been reduced to a flower garden and we here in the Supreme Court just play dominos all day." Chief Justice John Roberts responded.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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