Tony Tiger, the beloved feline ambassador of Frosted Flakes, has been arrested and charged with twenty-seven counts of first-degree murder. Tiger, it appears, had been keeping a deep, dark secret from the world. He was a serial killer.
Tiger reportedly traveled the country, searching for potential victims. As soon as he identified a likely target, he patiently stalked him or her and, when the time was right, attacked, lacerating the victim with his razor sharp claws and terminating the victim's life with a single bite to the neck.
Tony Tiger is currently being held without bail in the Tulsa County Animal Shelter, reportedly in solitary confinement, to protect the other inmates.
Sal Manella
