Written by Sal Manella

Monday, 4 June 2007

image for TB Infected Lawyer Declared Enemy Combatant
Speaker is taken into custody

Andrew Speaker, the lawyer infected with a medication-resistant strain of tuberculosis, has been declared an enemy combatant and remanded to the custody of the Department of Defense, according to a Bush administration official, who spoke to this reporter anonymously. The official went on to say that Speaker will soon be transferred to the United States Naval Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where an undisclosed number of suspected terrorists are currently being held. The official said that Mr. Speaker will be held in solitary confinement in order to protect the terrorists.

President Bush defended the decision to hold Speaker as an enemy combatant. "He has the capacity to infect other people with a biological weapon, he was on an airplane, he's a lawyer. This ain't exactly rocket science here!" The president went on to say that "if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, it's probably a terrorist."

Sal Manella

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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