Ted Kennedy Loses Voice: Cape Wind in Jeopardy

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Monday, 28 May 2007

image for Ted Kennedy Loses Voice: Cape Wind in Jeopardy
Ted Kennedy sore throat may take down the windmills

Senator Edward (Ted) Kennedy has developed a severe case of laryngitis, said a Kennedy spokesman today. Doctors for the Senate leader said today that the severe sore throat was caused by a lengthy filibuster.

Kennedy's vocal problems are having a dramatic impact on the Cape Wind project, says Jim Gordon, the president of that project. Cape Wind aims to place over 100 windmills in Nantucket Sound, and has had to overcome opposition from wealthy property owners in the area, including the Kennedy family.

It turns out that Kennedy may be doing more damage to the project by keeping quiet. Gordon explained: "We based this project on the strong and steady winds, but never really understood the source of the winds. Then we noticed that whenever Ted Kennedy was in Washington, the winds were 30% lower. Without his hot air, the project may no longer be viable."

The Cape Wind project may yet be saved. Gordon is in talks with Al Gore, John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani to see if he can get them to spend significant time in the area. "If we get all three," noted Gordon, "that will almost make up for losing Kennedy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more