Speaking at a political rally in his hometown of Bikini Bottom, Spongebob Squarepants, the independent candidate for presidency of the United States said, that if elected, he will never be implicated in any kind of sex scandal.
"I'm a sponge, which means that I am asexual. Had former president William Jefferson Clinton been a sponge like me, Monica Lewinsky never would have been able to seduce him and he never would have told that lie to the American people. You remember when he said 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' and everybody knew he was lying anyway and lying is really a terrible, terrible thing and we should never tell a lie because honesty is always the best policy."
Recent polls show that, if the election were held today, Squarepants would handily defeat any of the Democrats or Republicans.
Sal Manella
