Despondent Spongebob Contemplates Suicide

Funny story written by kegoguinness

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

image for Despondent Spongebob Contemplates Suicide
Spongebob on a Rockefeller Plaza, NY rooftop

Rockefeller Plaza rooftop, NYC----Spongebob Squarepants has left his pineapple under the sea and emerged on a NYC rooftop, contemplating suicide. "This is no publicity stunt," croaked Spongebob's manager, Splashjill Rhombusjeans. The scene is unfolding live before our cameras, and NYers are gathered in anxious tension.

"This is terrible," mouthed Martha Greene, who works at a cafe across the street from the building upon whose rooftop Spongebob is perched. "This is Larry the Lobster all over again! We just couldn't take the pain of another loss like that."

Spongebob has refused to talk, and speculation is rampant as to why he is so despondent, and whether he would actually bounce if he jumped.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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